Without You
by Kaoru Gal
Summary: The tears dry, without you. Life goes on, but I'm gone. 'Cause I die, without you. HaoxYoh oneshot


**Without You**

Disclaimer: Don't own Shaman King or Rent

Without You-Rent

Joh: I got the idea for this while sulking 'cause I was missing my sister! -Glances at Jessie-

Jessie: I miss you too!

J sisters: -Hugs-

** Joh: This is important. Since most of you read my sister (Thoughtless Dreamer) fanfics, you need to know that she got banned from for 3 weeks. We're both really upset about this...and 3 of her fictions have been taken offf in case you haven't noticed. we might repost them though...**

0o0o0

_Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows._

Yoh watched with dull eyes as blades of chin length grass swayed over him, marring his vision of the bright blue sky.

_Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom,_

Absentmindedly he reached out to feel the silky grass against his fingertips. But they were nothing like his brother's long brown hair. Nothing could compare to the luxurious feeling of those smooth locks of darkest brown.

_The children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you._

Faintly he could hear the movements of animals nearby, striding boldly across the meadow, not seeing the seemingly lifeless shaman lying in the grass.

Yoh breathed in sharply and closed his eyes tightly. It had been his hand, his power that had killed Hao. His brother. His lover.

Hao had always said that he was his other half…

Lose one of two you lose both.

_The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you._

You opened his eyes again. Dull black eyes reflected the passing clouds. How often had Hao lain here watching the sky above?

How often had Hao told him his dream of creating a world where they could lie side by side and watch the clouds fade into stars?

_Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves._

It hurt. It hurt so much. To go back home and pretend nothing big happened, to pretend everything was okay. That's what life had become, one big game of Pretend.

_Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash._

It was as if Hao had never gone. The only reminder of his sudden disappearance from his life was the choking overwhelming feeling of pain echoing inside him.

_The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you._

Hao had once told him that they could never be separated…and Yoh had believed him. How could he have known that they would be painfully torn apart never to be reunited? And it was Yoh's fault. Yoh had made Hao a liar.

_The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you._

Manta, his closest friend, had comforted him. Told him that if Hao had won that fight then millions of lives would have been extinguished. Back then he had agreed that by blowing out one light others would be reserved.

_The world revives,_

But it hadn't been only one life. It had been two.

_Colors renew_

Yoh had killed himself the moment he swung that sword. And he knew it the moment he had looked into Hao's shocked eyes. There hadn't been any anger in those eyes…only shock.

_But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue_

Now what? Now what was there?

_Without you. Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats._

His pale hand slithered across his chest and paused over the heartbeat. This belonged to Hao. Everything of his being belonged to Hao. But Hao no longer existed.

Yoh's main fear was being alone…

What was it like?

_Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walks, the lungs breath.  
The mind churns!_

Tears swam before Yoh's eyes but he blinked them away. He had never seen Hao cry. So he would do his best to be like that too.

_The mind churns!_

What would Yoh give to be able to hear his brother's heartbeat again? To have those smooth fingers trace their way up his back and down his arms? To hear his smooth cool voice whispering in his ear.

Yoh wanted it.

_The heart yearns!_

To be whole again. To never feel this sort of pain again. Only Hao could revive this. The heart yearns!

The tree stretching its limbs above Yoh wavered strangely as his mind reeled. A wave of heat swept across him, flushing a salty tear out of him. Yet as the tears flowed faster and faster no expression crossed his face.

_The tears dry, without you.  
Life goes on, but I'm gone.  
'Cause I die, without you._

"Hao." He whimpered closing his eyes. Anything. Anything to see him again.

"Onii-chan…"

_Without you._

He closed his eyes again welcoming the darkness. It was easy to imagine the fire shamans voice in his mind. So easy…

_Without you._

In the darkness of his dreams Hao could be with him.

Highlighted in the shadows of sleep Hao waited for with open arms, smothering Yoh closer and closer to the non-existent heartbeat. Yoh would clutch to his brother and smile like he hadn't during his conscious hours.

Their lips would graze one another. Their hands would twine together, desperately holding on but knowing that in the end Yoh would wake up alone.

_Without you_

0o0o0

Joh: All my sadness poured into one sitting…Sis, this shows how much I miss you when you're gone.

Jessie: I love you!

Joh: -Hugs tightly-

Review please.

-Joh


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